In case you haven't seen it, the NY Post ran an article about a man who suffered a mishap while in bondage at the Nutcracker pro-domination house in NYC. He was left alone while in bondage (a big no-no!) and his foot slipped out of his high heel shoe, causing him to choke on his collar that was tied to an eye-hook.
Okay, this is a newsworthy story - certainly questions of whether this happens often (no, or there would be stories every day about BDSM accidents), whether pro-domination is legal in NYC (yes it is) and whether there are safety standards to keep people from being harmed (definitely, including the standard practice that you're not supposed to leave someone alone when they're in bondage).
But the Post didn't ask those questions. Instead, their reporters managed to get the guy's real name and details of his life and outed him, along with contacting his wife to tell her what had happened.
And the Post's response to this invasion of privacy? According to the paper's spokesman, Howard Rubenstein: "The Post will happily name every adult caught in a dog collar."
I've been reading those stories in the Post with absolute horror. What an unbelievable quote from Rubenstein. Those in glass houses... I wonder what he'll be caught doing.
It makes me wonder about everyone at the Post. Surely some of our own people are there. Why don't they say something? This isn't the 1950s! Are they all prudes over there?
Either that, or it was a spin for the newspaper, and he'll continue to do it in secret.
Either way, still really sad. Of course, people either see it as sick or a funny joke. But you already know that.
By the way...I don't know if it's you I thank...but if so, thank you so much for the list of lawyers on the NCSF list. I hired one for my custody battle and he was wonderful.
I'm so glad to hear the Kink Aware Professionals list was helpful for you! It's definitely one of the more important things NCSF does for our community.
In New York City, no less. I could understand it if the Post was in the Bible Belt. Are there really enough social conservatives in this city for that paper to cater to them so much?
There are a lot more sex-negative folk out there than just the southern loonies who try to outlaw dildos; and the "Bible Belt" hosts a really startling number of swinger clubs. And I'm not going to attempt to describe my well-inked, Episcopalian brother's preferences except to say that he's in no danger of falling into a category. All this to say that there's free thinking and narrow thinking all over, and how it manifests is pretty much protective coloration.
Don't you know it! The reporter was really smart and his media blog is very interesting. I'll get in touch with him the next time there's a dust-up in the media.
Ugh! That is just ridiculous!! Man, I really hate the newspapers sometimes, they will do WHATever it takes to get a good story, they don't give a shit.
I'm happy that he's going to share his secret with his wife, but it's sad that it had to happen this way. It's also strange to me when I think about people keeping those kinds of secrets from their spouses. My husband and I are so open that if he told me he had a secret high heel fetish, Id drive him down to the mall and buy him a pair.
I wish everyone could be as open about their sexual interests. Someday, with all of our hard work, there won't be such a repressive climate in America.
Our chosen lifestyle should be neither protected nor safe. Without an element of danger or risk, there's no tension. The danger, the risk is getting caught, getting discovered.
It's like cheating on your spouse. Why is the sex so good? Because of the danger.
People shouldn't have to risk losing their jobs or custody of their children in order to have exciting sex. I also think if you can shut off your conscious and cheat on your partner to get "good" sex, then you have bigger problems than a boring sex life.
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