Every once in a while, I run into word choices that makes me squint and go "hmmm?" Just ran into one now. It's in Path of Blood by Diana Pharaoh Francis. Let me quote the paragraph. The sentence in question is underlined.

There was no trail. The mountain was steep and thick with vines and trees. The air quieted and the wind stilled. There was a fecund feel to the mountain--an opulent heat. Sweat ran down her skin. Reisil clawed through the undergrowth. The air thinned and it grew hard to breathe. She gasped, her ribs heaving, her head whirling, her muscles screaming.(293-4)

We're clearly in a tell situation where DPF is summarizing a journey. (The scene is the one where Reisil is sent to the mountain as a test of power, endurance, and acceptance by the gods.) I've got no problem with the telling. Other than one word, I think it's a marvelous way to let the character emote while shortening the journey down to the essentials.

My problem is the word "fecund", especially the way she follows up with "an opulent heat". I had to go look up opulent and fecund on Wordsmyth to make sure I knew what the words meant because context simply isn't working. So I did. Here's what I found.

Fecund means fertile, fruitful, abundant offspring, or that can be applied to intellectual and creative abundance.

Opulent is rich, abundant (also), plentiful, display of wealth, lavish, etc.

So I have my denotations right, and I have to go back and look at the connotations a bit. Even reading the scene around the word, I'm still having problems. Usually when "fecund" is used, it's a reference to pregnancy, even being pregnant with ideas, about to give birth to a new idea or concept.

"Opulent" is almost always in terms of wealth. I can see heat being opulent. I've been in situations where the feel of high humidity and heat makes the air feel like velvet. That, I get. I can also get a "fecund feel to the mountain". There's a feeling of anticipation, like something as momentous as giving birth is about to happen.

Putting the two terms together, where opulent modifies fecund? I'm having a serious disconnect. The imagery doesn't match. It's not helped that the rest of the scene has anticipation and opulence in it, but no more references to pregnancy or fertility.

It's not a thesaurus issue, either. Fecund and opulent don't show up around each other. It's clearly a mismatch between images, and I just have to wonder about it. Because in the scene, Reisil is frantic, scrambling, eating raw meat and shredding her feet and skin to get someplace. That's not the image of pregnancy or fertility. Fecund has a lethargic feel. It's just so out of place.

I should also mention that I've read right over this paragraph at least a dozen times, so it's not THAT big of a deal. It just happened to catch my attention today. The reason I'm so startled is that I think that DPF is one of the best storytellers out there in terms of getting her prose out of the way of the story. This is probably the first time I went *bonk*.

Mostly, this is one of those little things that I need to remember when revising; make sure the images match up.

Tags: advice, description, failure to communicate, writing
Current Mood: contemplative

Went to Half Price Books, spent 0 dollars. *in shock*

4 pages of Thistle. I know what the next scene is but my head is fuzzy.

Plus 650 words on a blog that will show up on Bookview Cafe next week.

I think I'm done for a while.

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Book Title: Checkers

Author: John Marsden

Category: YA

# of pages: 122

My rating of the book, F- [worst] to A [best].: B

Short description/summary of the book: From the back cover: Tonight before I started writing this, it was me confronting Jack. It was so real I could smell it.

Suddenly, according to my imagination, I'd be on my feet, screaming, "why didn't you leave us alone? Why did you have to drag us in? You're scum, filth. I hate you. Go away. You deserve everything, everything, you get. It's not my fault. IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

She has everything going for her: good looks, a nice school, friends, and a silly dog to remind her not to take life too seriously. But suddenly her life spins out of control. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. It takes confinement in a hospital -- and a lot of time to think -- before she can once again get a handle on life.

My Thoughts: This was a tale full of suspense. I liked that the book was set up in a journal style. By the end of the book I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. I didn't see the ending at all. The author hit the nail on the head in regards to mental health issues with the other hospital patients along with the raw emotions caused from lies any betrayal. This is a great book for anyone that is looking for comfort through characters that are going through a difficult and sad time.

Books read this year: 32/50.

Next read: Saying It Out Loud Joan Abelove

( Overview/Review )

x-posted to my journal

Via sucktastic: "Dude watching with the Brontes" -- so entertaining!!

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Tags: best of web, housework, stuff, think geek
Current Location: The Wookiemonster's Lair
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: 80's Greatest Hits - Prince - Little Red Corvette

Happy Birthday, Sean!

Current Mood: cheerful

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I'm confused. There's like, sixty million Discworld books by Pratchett. Which one is the first? And is it even worth it to invest myself into such an extensive collection of books?